Taraza Tyler | Dear Mama | Episode #32

THG interviews guest Taraza Tyler. Taraza is a Raleigh-based entrepreneur, philanthropist, mentor, and mom. Taraza is the CEO/Founder of POWER, Inc., a non-profit that assists single parents with accessing community resources.

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Transcript

Episode 32   Taraza Tyler

[00:00:00] Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of The Hilltop Glove Podcast. Today, we had the pleasure of interviewing to Taraza Tyler, Taraza is a Raleigh, North Carolina-based entrepreneur, philanthropists, mentor, and mom. She's the CEO slash founder of Power, Inc. A nonprofit organization that assists single parents with accessing community resources to become better self-sufficient while facing everyday challenges.

How are you? I am. Awesome. Thank you all so much for having me. It's such an honor to finally be a part of The Hilltop Glove Podcast. This is so dope. It's great to have you. So this is so amazing. So thank you all so much. No problem. Thanks for waking up this morning and dealing with this. I already been, I've been up since five, so.

Yes. It's apparent. Life is like when your body, when you start, like, you know, getting up every [00:01:00] day, it's kind of hard for you to try to sleep in on the weekends.  Even when I have free time, I tell people it's so hard to just lay in a bed. It's just not a norm, but it's something that I am going to normalize.

What, 2022, there we go. So your organization, power aim is an acronym for parents owning wealth through education and resiliency. Can you tell us how you came up with the name and the need for your services? Yes.  So even 2014, well, actually 2013, I knew that  I had started law school and Charlotte school of law.

And I was going through going through law school. And by the end of the second semester, I found out I was pregnant and I had to take a leave from school. And so leaving Charlotte was hard for me because I didn't have family there, but it turned out that I was going to be a single parent.  The day I seemed so Alicia totally shocked that I was pregnant.

I think, you know, depending on the situation and what you have going on and. [00:02:00] Nobody wakes up in a space to be a single parent, but with the situation given it happens  after that  I had to face a lot of challenges. I had to overcome any eviction. Cause when you're a law school, you don't have any money.

 It's like, you know, you are coming from like money and you're, you know, doing. That's carrying the legacy that your parents have. Maybe I felt like a lot of people that I was in school with at that time, didn't want to be on law school. They were just doing it because they was going to take over their parents' businesses or something just like that.

 I would have drag right by my study group was miserable, but I'm like, I'm just happy to be here. Education was out for me. I was raised in a single parent home. And so this was going to be like out for me, this was going to be, you know, the way that I'll be able to take care of my family education in general.

And so. And then after a day, you know, unfortunately I had to take a leaf. I had smoothed back home, which is Duplin county.  So if he heard of Duplin county, Duplin county is near Wilmington, North Carolina, Jacksonville, North Carolina, Fayetteville.  If you could regrow, so the [00:03:00] store we made the Duplin winery wine.

I don't know. So we make that line. Oh, oh, stop. Yeah, that's not us. So I'm literally five minutes from the winery

neighbor. Like this one right here. I'm like, yeah.  You know, people don't drink Skeppernog wine is really, really sweet. So I think everybody, like when you're not quite 21 and you're like, well, I'm going to try some, what. And it's delicious. Yeah. And when you're grown, it's just a hangover, but you know, yeah.

They're really sweet. Majority is really rare. We have like a road Roger on, but yeah. Majority of their one is like sweet. And so basically I moved back home just to get myself together.  I went through a depression. Of course I was wanting to commit suicide. It was just like, I felt like my life had completely changed.

I forgot who I was. I lost my power. I felt like I lost my power.  You know, my [00:04:00] identity, you know  everything.  But then when I birthed. Of course  all the thing that I did and grew her, I no longer had it or one or filled it, you know, or realize everything that I went through because she was just such a gift.

She was a blessing and she really changed my life. And so after that I started  I got myself together within six months. I played, I made up. The six months that I had moved back home  because I just don't like being stuck. It's just something I know I like to keep going.  And so for me, I made a plan with my daughter and we ended up moving back to Raleigh.

And so I, I attended church and I was over the youth Manor seat ministry. And I was in there talking to some parents and I started sharing my story. They asked why they're plugging them into the resources that I, you know, that I knew of that assisted me.  And then a lot of our organizations and nonprofits that people do not know.

So when you're in a hospital to tell you about certain organizations and non-profits and agencies that you can contact, but some people like when you're going through it, you don't want to hear about that. You're trying to get out of the hospital and you, you know, trying to [00:05:00] figure out how you're going to do.

But for me, like I had read plenty of books while I was pregnant, because I didn't want to hear anybody's stories. And I just wanted to really try to, you know, keep my mental health together.  And so I did a whole lot of research while with pregnant in the. The resources that I had, I just share with parents.

And so on the phone one day when my mom was a, she was like, have you ever thought about that? You know, starting a nonprofit, plugging these resources. And so the Pam community, they don't have to be single parents, but they can be single parents. You know, they can be foster care, you know  caregivers. And I was like, no, never thought about it.

But then as I went through the fast God showed me, that's what I needed to do in order to get back on fire. You know, for what was coming next. So long story short, we was on the phone and I was driving home and she, she was like, do you have the name? And I was like, I don't know. I just know I want it to be something with power.

So she was like, well, just think about the things that you want parents to have. What do you want, you know, to give them, how do you want to impact the parent community? So I was like, you know, I want them to have their power back or take full control of their power and know who they are, [00:06:00] know their, why.

You know, I want a lot of them to finish education, life, finish your education. There's a lot of parents that, you know, drop out of school or didn't, you know, fathered in high school.  And then  and I just wanted to help them overcome challenges that they face every day. And so she was like, oh, boom. I wrote that down on.

And she was like, okay, we're here. Here's all your wealth through education and resiliency and boom power.

So all of the spotlight I'll have it. Conversation and spotlight, that was amazing. Then you got to have the right people around you.

 You know, a lot of people are interested in starting a nonprofit, but are, are unfamiliar with the process and don't know where to begin. I know I'm one of them. So can you give us like the steps of, you know, how you became, how you started the nonprofit and what difficulties did you feel. Yes. So the first thing was starting a nonprofit.

I didn't really want to do it. I felt like I was [00:07:00] going, I'm just going to be honest. I was going through a fast with the church at the time. And one God showed me. I was like, I don't want to do that. I don't know nobody. I want them to know my nonprofit. You can't get no money off a nonprofit. You know what I'm saying?

Like me, I'm thinking about money. I need money like funding. And although, you know, I'm in the legal field, I was like, I still need more money. Like I still need to figure out how I'm going to make. You know, it's me thinking about a nonprofit.  And so. I started praying. I was praying doing a fast and he started showing me everything that I needed to do.

Like the people, I didn't want the people. Cause there was my line sisters. I didn't want anybody to look at me like, well, just I lost, this is bad. They're there more than that, that you are who they are with the letters, not on them. And so they helped me. And so after that  I ended up just doing my research, how to start a 5 0 1 C3.

If you know me close to me, you know, I'm a budget person. I do a budget on everything because I feel like that's the only way that you will be able to have money. I hate the word broke.  Or I do not have, because you're speaking things over your life. [00:08:00] So when I became a single mum, I had a, my, one of my close friends, she's a financial advisor.

So she wrote down my budget. So I was like, okay, well, let me see that I can budget. And it's profit because all the people say is she's starting a nonprofit. You still got to pay for things. Yeah. So you got to get your, you know, your five, a monthly three, you gotta do your research. So if you, if you want to know the process of doing your research, First off, like, see if you can partner with somebody out there to see if you can, you know what I'm saying, partner with them or go under them.

And it's hard, but I didn't want to do that.  You to really figure out how you're a different organization as your fiscal agent. Yeah. You can go Nastia you can go under them because at the same time, There are so many single parent nonprofit organizations, right? Here's one for mothers, fathers, it's everybody, but you got to figure out how yours is going to be.

You know, what, how are you different from what they're doing? And so for me, I had to research other non-profits [00:09:00] because I didn't want a person to be like, well, why would I give no fun the same non-profit that we've been given to you for the five years during the funding? How are they different? You know what I'm saying?

Like you got to really sit down and break down the information. You didn't have packets on the secretary of state website that you can get to do research. So I went up there and. Yeah, some information I printed off and I made a binder. Not only that I made a binder for me, but I made a binder of each person that God showed me that was going to be.

So I, that

yeah. Had to make, do you know who my vice-president was at the time? None of that, I just may find her binders. I put everybody's name on it because when they tell you who you need to it part of your board. So I was like, I make a binder. This is what I need. And you have to keep documentations of everything or you will get.

And my three people, I know they got, they non-profits snatch because they were taking the funding, doing everything they shouldn't have been doing with it. [00:10:00] And you didn't have no receipts or nothing to show that. Yeah, although you was doing this, but where's the rest of the money going to, like, you gotta make sure you don't get in trouble with the nonprofit.

So I think for me, your steps will be research, research, research, and research. And so you have you go through. I mean, you can get an attorney on your team. It's expensive, but you can get an attorney to do everything for you. If you don't know how to. And I wish I would have known it because I didn't, I really, I mean, I'm in the legal field.

I just ask people. Okay. So what's this where you do have some  lawyers and law firms out there. They were really just do all the paperwork for you. You just sit down with them, but it's just expensive. And when you don't have the funding, you just got to do stuff yourself. So I would just say restart.

This is true. This is very true. You mentioned that you mentioned earlier about  you know, when you were getting into non-profit and you were. But, but I need money. And I feel like that's one of the misconceptions that [00:11:00] goes on in about nonprofits in the world.  The other one being kind of the more right wing version of it, that nonprofits are just a scam and they're a tax evasion thing.

And I feel like these are like two competing views that have like the complete opposite. Truth to them.  What do you, what do you feel about some of that?  I guess they, I mean, they can be it, they can be when it comes to taxes. It's a lot I can tell you around, like, when we first did our taxes, when they was asking me these questions, I was like, oh my God, like I got to do better with being organized.

You know what I'm saying? But you gotta make sure you get in. Okay. Do your research on the banks? That's the first thing I did was make sure, like, after we had got our name, after we even got our name and then after we got out for our own C3, I had a bank account, like gotta, you gotta get a bank account.

And even if you're spending money before you started, because getting your 5 0 1 C3 can go for a one month, but then also take up to two years. Like it's, they're so [00:12:00] behind. So it just depends on when you're going to get it. But if you are doing. And you got a bank account. Like you need to make sure that name is on that card.

You need to keep track of everything. You need to use that one card because they literally asked you for stuff. So I know for me, like if I don't have the card, then my director, secretary, or my director of finances, she has the card and sometimes it can be hard because if I need to do something for the parent writing.

Then I can get the car from her because majority of my board is in DMV. I'm an orphan. So, you know  basically I have to use my funding, right. And then I have to email her my receipt. Then I need to type a report or what I use the funding part because we keep, we gotta make sure we keep assets together.

 Cause if we get audited and we'll be, you know what I'm saying? We'll have all of our stuff together and then. You know, she'll create me a reimbursement form, you know, when it's time, but you just gotta make sure you have all that stuff [00:13:00] together. But if you don't have your Texas together, that's what misses a whole lot of non-profits up.

They do not understand it. Like they don't have all their, every receipt, every dollar, every pen, every paper, every folder, every food, every everything you spend, it matters. It counts. Like they want to know all of that and they want to know the detail. And then if you are paying your board, Tell me, but don't add that.

And so they're asking you to work, who was getting, who is getting paid? Is it just everything onto the president? And it's weird if you getting all this money and you really can't account for this. Like that's when you get in trouble. Right. So when you, when you first, when you first started this, I mean, you know, my, my day job is in a nonprofit world and I'm on the board of another nonprofit.

That's kind of in the startup phase right now. So this is kind of like right up my alley right now. It's a part, is this not even the podcast, it's just me picking your brain.  So when you started up, you know, first you get your, your 5 0 1 C3 paperwork, [00:14:00] you register with the, with the state, with the IRS, you get your bank account.

So now you exist.  And you can start taking money from people at that point. But it, it seems like there is a, like a growth stage to get from where you're taking donations from churches and local businesses that, you know, to the point where you're actually getting. Corporate sponsorships and, and, you know, in kind donations for events and that kind of thing.

Like where, where are you all? I mean, first of all, I, you know, where, where is power in that whole process and, and at the local level, like the thing  we have platform major. So basically I director of  fundraiser and grant, she's actually a grant manager at. And Leanne she's, but she's also in her mouth.

She's also around losses for premium and duke for several years. But what she explained to us that you have to really be established for a wow. [00:15:00] Right? In order for you to get up this corporate money, you got to have big events for these.  Jobs or people so they can figure out what else are, y'all what y'all giving us.

It's like a, you we're giving you this. What are you giving us? But they want events. They want things where they name on it. They want ways of how they can bring, take your people, but has it, how you both can help the people that you bring it into the. And so she would explain about that with duke. And I'm just like, we're nowhere near duke.

We can't even appear to do, right. Like we're nowhere near duke, but she was explaining to us how they're able to get these million dollar grants, but they have been established for a while and statistics matter. And how many people you have, like data information, all that matters. Burning out. We haven't been established that long.

So we have been doing great for like small businesses, you know, and, you know, local people and donations for like private donors, private donors, like, you know, I own maybe a mental health agency. And I don't want to cut you [00:16:00] a $3,000 check. You know what I'm saying? Something like that, or maybe a $5,000 check or lie.

DTLR I donating, you know, 10, 15 boxes of toys. So, you know, things like that, but like no major companies or things like that. No, because I worked for a corporate law firm and everybody, they nearly donated. So this year have already been established for a lease 17. They are not ain't. I didn't see nobody on the list that was possibly below 10 years.

I'm like 10 years to get funding. But then when I was up against my mentor, he was like, he just got a hundred dollars. Thousand grant. And that's the biggest he probably ever received. And they've been established just now hitting the nine year mark, like, wow, we did not thrive. And to after we hit five years, because you're competing with other nonprofits that have been established that have the statistics that have the data, they can show you how much money they received, you know, from these other corporate events, you know, competition [00:17:00] with other law firms or like.

Our banks. Oh my God.  So you just gotta show like everything counts, right? It was like, you know  you, when you go for a grant, like if you want to get a $50,000 grant, you need to have your records from years before that showing how that will be. Has if you go up for even, you know, on a $50,000 grant is a relatively small grant and a lot of these  grant opportunities  operations grant is what I'm talking about specifically.

 And then, but if, if you don't have, you know, if you're a startup, you don't have books going back two years cause you didn't exist two years ago. They're not even going to consider you. I it's just now. Yeah, that wasn't hard, like doing the meetings when we wouldn't get in these big 10,000, 15,000, 25,000, 50,000 thousand rants.

My, you know, she'll come back on my way out as to what they tell me, because you'll have some people that will deny you and say, sorry, you know, partially you're a [00:18:00] nonprofit, you know, weren't they, you were all not excellent. But we can set up a meeting and let me show you how maybe you could possibly select it next year.

I may be a couple of years down the road, down a row. And so basically my last sister that is a director of reform fund raising and grant, she met with him. And the first thing she said was LA, I've only been an hour for two years, or we're looking for me between 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the row. How much money you're getting from other corporate or, you know, big universities and banks.

And you're like, what. Right. You didn't know that, but then it's like, you don't see that. I don't see that in the research idea. I didn't see that. Know what? I don't see any of that when you're out there. So that means you have to set up a meeting with these people that are denying you so you can figure out what you want to do.

And then it's like, okay, well you need to have more events. Well, you need to show, like, if you are having these van events, are parents having certificates? Are they complete with programs? You what I'm saying? You got to have programs [00:19:00] to show.  Yeah, so just know what you're doing. So that's what these years, since we had our  December is our annual.

At power war meeting. And since she presented all the information from like duke and chapel hill and a lot of  nonprofit organizations that were black, it was given out a lot of money this year. Like, you know, letting us know what this is, how we, you know, we need to be established a little bit longer, but we've also got to show more data, everything.

And we got to have more programs where parents and foster care or caregivers are and graduating for the program, what are they getting? Whether they learn, you know, you gotta get feedback surveys, you know, and things like that.

So how, how long has power been in existence? Since 20, 19 20. Oh, so you're still relatively new, but you've got to, you've got a staff. It sounds like you've got a plan. It sounds like you've got some good people in place. Absolutely. [00:20:00] I am truly blessed.  From our board, I just think for the mental health part of our, our nonprofit is hard because North Carolina really focused on education, which is really.

 Because there is a lot of in need of mental health resources here in North Carolina to me.  So I'm praying that I do actually get to meet with governor Cooper so we can talk about that.  So she's actually in orange Richmond, and she has her mental health agency. So we're thinking of. You know, we're there, but we really are thinking about like getting a sensor there because it's really in the need.

Like, it's, it's, it's really big, but a lot of parents and they don't know it. And so like, she's speaking with them and she like, okay, yeah, this is what their need, you know, the insurance don't cover that in North Carolina and it's got it's hard. So  yeah, we're still new. Very good things out, but we're just grateful that we still have fund Nate's funding to assist the parents that are in need.

And then we do have private donors, dad, you know, know of us and we'll, you know, [00:21:00] send us an email or just donate and let you know what this is, what I'm doing, donating these wars, you know, please let me know if you need anything. Like that. So we're totally grateful. We are getting out there.  Yeah, that's wonderful.

That's wonderful. So one of the things that we noticed when we were looking into your organization and research and  is that  you know, power works with all single parents. You know, I think a lot of times  organizations will say that they work with single moms.  But there are. Single dads out there.

 And just from my experience, you know, my son is almost three now and me and my wife talk about it all the time. Like there's, there's no fucking way. There's no fucking way. Either one of us can do this so low, so props to you for that. Yeah. And  and second, you know, from  From your perspective, you know, what do you think is the difference between single moms and single dads?

 And, and, you know, kind of the importance of us as a community, supporting single parents as a, as a [00:22:00] whole. So let me see. So I think for me, I do have a lot of married friends with kids  and they talk about how it was hard was just like you just said, it's hard. But I think for me, it really takes a village.

And for the parents that do not have a village is really, it's really hard.  And that's where the resources. You know, come in. But I think for me, there's a lot of days. That have stepped over, stepped up during the pandemic and have took full custody of their kids because we have an attorney that we have for family law and, and, you know, you have the moms now where they are going through postpartum depression on top of other things and their normal neighbors, they can hear the kid.

So the fathers now have full custody. And I think for me, going into fatherhood trainings, cause I do trainings of how to speak with fathers ammo. You know  and just being on the phone with dads, you know, their thing is letting us have.  A lot of it comes from trauma response and how they was [00:23:00] raised  knowing that they can't cry.

They're the sole provider, you know, that it can do they kids here, they don't know how to dress their kids. It's just like, you don't really have a need for me. Right. But you want them to pay for everything. You want them to pay child support. It's the father's side. You know, you want them to have the keys on the insurance.

You want the fathers to do this, but we have no. But as from how they was raised. So it was like a trauma response and then them trying to do the healing mat. I can honestly say there's a lot of fathers that are worked with that definitely stepped up and being in has done a great job of being a father.

So we do have a lot of fathers, but of course we have more mothers that are need.  And then we also have two parent house. We hit  parents to. Marriage, we help you guys. It just depends on what you need help with. But I think for me, when it comes with it, it takes a lot of time management. It's a balance.

It's a, no, I can't go there. I can't do this.  Burnout is real. Oh yes.  It [00:24:00] will takes a whole lot of communication when it comes to a superhero household. From what I know, talking to my friends, it's. If I can go, my husband can't go. My child can't go. We can't go. That's how my friends move communication.

Yeah. So, you know, talking to them and then us having like a support group, because we we're getting ready to launch our support groups. And I tested some of them out with my friends, but it's mind blowing when you have the husbands in rooms and. The friend's room. And of course, I can't say nothing to either one of our, what we talked about, but it's just like my employer and deceit from a life perspective.

And then to see it from the husband perspective. And then it's crazy how you see things from the single mother side, how you see things from a single father side. And a lot of them are with single parents. Not putting forgetting that the child is your only thing you need to focus on. So going through the healing, people don't know about that, but therapists therapy is real.

I think it's a great thing if you should do it, [00:25:00] but everybody don't believe in therapy and therapy  or the points with therapists, you ain't got to believe in gravity, but it's there. Okay. That's that scene. But I think for me, it was just both parents doing the work and you focus in on the chat.  So when it comes to, you know, fathers, a lot of them want, someone's talked to, you know, that have that role.

So, you know, I'll have people that I'll refer them to, to talk to about the issues that are having, or, you know, there's a judge. I do a lot of family court that I can connect them with  and talk to them about how the right way and things, and, you know, before they get to the court date, because sometimes they don't know how things the system is set up for it.

So we're just going to be honest, set up for the mothers period. You got approval. The mother is not doing order for you to get your child period. And so, like I tell both sides, you need to keep track of information, texts, phone calls, receipts, all that stuff matters. And you will not know unless you go through it.

And I had to go through it. And so you got to keep track [00:26:00] of these things. And so a lot of stuff is research, you know, healing and knowing that your child is Domaine, your child is innocent. They can't fight. You know what I'm saying? They're young. They don't know what you're going through. They don't know what the chat support is about.

They don't know why you arguing. They don't know any, meanwhile, they just making all the connections about what's right. And what's wrong in the world.

So I think you mentioned a time management earlier, and that is definitely one of the, the, the immediate giant changes that happens as a parent is now all of a sudden. I guess for me, it felt like, you know, like when you a teenager or young twenties and you first kinda like on your own doing your thing, you got to learn how to take care of yourself.

And then once you get that down, it's easy. It's fine. And then, you know, say you, you, in a relationship, you live with somebody to a certain degree, you taking care of each [00:27:00] other, but now all of a sudden you got a whole nother being that pops up that needs all the same things and can do nothing. So all of a sudden your work is like, And  there's no time for anything.

And then if you take, you take that down to a single parent situation, now you've got to work childcare and do all the things.  How, how important is, I mean, obviously time management is the only way you can do that. So like what, how do we get there? How do we get to that handle our lives? I think for me  when I talked to a lot of my friends, especially my friends that are married, black riders don't understand how well you don't have no choice, right?

You don't have no choice.  Again, you don't wake up expecting to be a single parent, but situations happen and you there's no manual when it comes to a child, right? Every child is different. Don't compare one child to another child. I don't compare my situation to my friend's situation.  And I have to do what's best for them.

[00:28:00] And my child, right? And as a parent, if you're not taking care of yourself, you can't take care of your child. So I think for me, I am big on  balance and time management. Like I am my budget with my money and I feel like in order for me to protect my feet, my, you know, my peace and to have an impact in the world, all of that stuff ties in right to you and what you have going on.

So for me, I sit down every Sunday and I make a schedule, right. So I'm big on my calendar. You know, I really need in my calendar until I had my daughter, I had to slow down. A lot of it became no girl, no, I can't go. Or no, I can't speak to this and no, I'm not volunteering at this because at the same time I sit sitter is not.

And I have a village, but I don't want to burn out my village. And he asked, my daughter has a, a father and a village, but you don't want to burn them out. She had the day she go there, she has the day to shoot with me. So I think for me that it takes you [00:29:00] sitting down. Right.  And you're making a complete scale.

And we normally need to normalize this normalized, booking your calendar off. You don't have anything to do normalize the day that I'm spending my child, this is what we're going to do. I plan out each and every day of my life because that's what I am. I'm a planner now. Can things go wrong? Absolutely.

All the time. Like today we went wrong with his cleaner come in at the wrong time, but at the same time, he's here. And I'm okay with that. When my village is here. To watch my child. So I think it's all about communication, your time management and what works best for you and your family. But I knew that in the hospital that day I gave birth to my child.

I knew that my life was going to change and there are a lot of things that I will no longer be able to. Right now I can no longer think about myself. Right? I have to think about two people instead of one now who I still have my knees and things that I need and things that I'm going to take care of to help me, you know, relax and keep that who I am.

[00:30:00] Absolutely. But at the same time, I have to still be mindful that I have a child. And in order for you to, I don't want to say CC'd as a parent, but in order for you to be who you need to be for your child, you gotta know who you are and you gotta know what works for you.  So I have a lot of parents that I talked to to compare yourself to people on social media.

And I don't want to be like her. That's a lie. She ain't talking about what she's feeling. You know, like everybody media out here being celebrities, but it's not true. Right. But it's the people that follow the parents that are authentic. The things they are going through as a parent and a two-parent household and a one parent household, you know, miscarriages giving birth, you know, adoption, like people actually sharing their stories is what are into, because now we're in a town with.

I'm feeling as a mother because I'm not doing this. Right. But there are desperate show and this for likes. So a lot of the parents I'm talking to are just feeling a whole lot of parent guilt because they're not where they at, but it's like, have you really said at the time [00:31:00] out, you know, to do this or how you can start a business or how you can save money or why you don't have time to eat and why you don't have time to sleep.

Like all of that stuff has to. You know, workout and come together. So yes, how I managed management to me is very important, but I did not learn that until, you know, I have to move and it was just me and my daughter. And I was like, I can't be in here crying every day, crying, not going to work. Right. It's not, we need to wake her up going in the closet, crying.

It was just not gonna work. Okay. Going, not crying. It's not helping me. I'm doing this crying on my lashes and I'm paying for it. I'm not doing anything.

That's not going to do next. You know, my mom. But my dad, when he was alive, he was like, all right, you crying, you finish. All right. So what's the game plan, you know what I'm saying?

All right, what's next? What are you gonna do? Cry. Which, which I do feel sorry for yourself anymore. [00:32:00] Crying cry though. Do like, I don't want to cry, but okay. I got to get up and come in with a game plan, like it's. Okay. So that's why time management and having a financial advisor. I tell people say my life, because now I'm 80.

So do the things that my parents weren't able to do for me, but that's all they had, right? Yeah. And things were 10 times cheaper back then. So really not compare myself to other moms, not giving a care. When nobody think about me, how we're changing my child, I'm net payment is going to show up to every email on my child, just because I want to expose my child.

Right. And I'll keep her on my calendar. So I feel, I like how you say that you feel hurt. You made sure that that child is on your calendar. You gotta do this. Speak in Israel and fall of judges and all this other stuff. Yes. Our door, I was at the head of the table with the other judge down. There were snacks because guess what?

I don't have a sitter at six 30 in the evening, so I need her to come with me so I can speak to you. So I feel like for me, it's, it's who you are and [00:33:00] what works best for, you know,

and you, you, you talk a lot about the village  and. South family is like that first, first level of it, you know, but  you know, a lot of people either they have relationships with their family that are not inducive to that maybe the people that you normally would count on in your family ain't necessarily folk you can count on  how do you build this village if you, if you don't have it.

So I think for me, what I've learned last year  You have to basically ask and let go of pride and let people know that you need hip. Now, this is what I learned.  And even this year, my mom then like when I first had my daughter, I had explained my situation to them and I didn't want to, but I had to.

 But after I did that, it is hard. It is hard because it's like, okay, well I might allow school because I got pregnant when a guy that, you [00:34:00] know, I thought we were in love, but I said, I got pregnant. He was like, oh God, I ain't ready for a day. Okay. Well nobody's ready. God, it happened. And so when I told them, they was like, well, you know, you're 27.

You accomplish a lot. We had before you, because my mom had me at 16. My grandma was happy and shouting in the hospital and I'm out here crying. I says,

So, you know, thinking like that, but her thing is  I'm proud of you. Like, don't think you filter, I'm proud of you and you're not going to do this alone. Right. So I think for me, I have a awesome village and in my village don't trust my child when nobody, so they going to show up. So if I be like, well, no, So I just, I, to go and wash them.

No, no, not, you know what I'm saying? We go drive up. We got you. Oh, we'll meet you half way. So I am blessed to have a village, but I do talk to a lot of parents. They do not a lot. Or there comes from childhood trauma. Right. A lot of them come [00:35:00] from their parents, deceased parents.  A lot of them really do not have a village, but there's resources out there that people will assist you if you need time.

Right.  What else I can say, they're friends. They can, if you can trust, you know, to watch your child, but it just depends on what it is if you, if you understand what I'm saying. So I think for me, like a lot of it, what I've learned over the years is comfort, pride.  Not wanting help, knowing that I've got a whole village  I said her is not free.

Y'all suitor. Nanny's expensive. Okay. That's a no-no for me. I learned two, three times and I'm like, yeah, that's about it. Okay. Another rent payment, like during the pandemic, like I can honestly say it was a lot of grant money out there. If you took the time to research. There was a lot of people helping people out with childcare, but when I was on Facebook and seeing these parents go off and ATM's I, Hey, my name is  community.

Can you give me your contact information so I [00:36:00] can see where you located. Let me see how to get this grant or, you know, your funding for a daycare, because at the same time, like if you do not do your research, you're going off way. Everybody's saying on social media says, and that's not true. So yeah, you got to realize there's funding out there for certain things you just got.

So research and ass on what I realized, having a nonprofit, a lot of parents don't have the time to research before we're here for. Yeah, we're here for, you says what's your name? Hello it crossroads. The kitchen and grocery delivery is just, you know, stuff that people don't really think many times to search for.

That's what we're really here for. We're really like the blood we're really like the connection between you and what you need. So that is pretty much what we do. That's wonderful. That's great. How many  how many parents do you think you're serving now? We are probably now at 200. Oh, wow. That's a big impact, right?

That is a lot.

I mean, if you think about [00:37:00] 200 people being better equipped to raise their kids and, and their kids are better equipped dealing with less trauma, like this is we're building, multi-generational better people, better communities, better nations. That's the plan. Anyway. Yeah. We hit 200 people. I think that's why we have slowed down with posting on social media, because it's just like, We're really getting, you know, our name indoors, you know, without doing everything.

And I feel like it's a lot. And so we have to break up. How many different taken and you know how we're in some stuff is just small things that people need help with. Like, Hey  I just moved to this area. I'm in need of childcare. I mean, I moved this area. I need help with my resume, how to find a job.

Perfect. I need help with this. We're moving from here. Yeah. We hit, we help parents to be looking for a house. We look for a realtor can HIPAA it's like stuff like that, but we still have to get your contact information for our data or, you know, so we can have the information answers because we know that we [00:38:00] need there for funding.

You got to report that widget back. So I think me, like, it went from 75 to like 200 and I'm like, oh my God. You know, I asked for more of a guy. I know it was coming this way. So pretty much we are out there, you know, just having parent with this, if the resources that they need. Yeah. No, that was first of all.

And I know how hard that is to do because I worked for nonprofit. We only had 140 students and we were grant funded by the department of education. It was still hard as all get out with full funding, like, so I can imagine you doing everything from the ground up, building it yourself, getting your own funding, et cetera, reaching out to a community that is amazing.

200 parents. It is hard. I'm like you said, it's really hard.  But this time, you know, people trying to get tax write off, so they

[00:39:00] trying to give that funding out fast. So when you get that funding, you cannot, I'm not saying, let it sit there, but you need to know what you already need. It. So that's why I always tell people, like it's important to have, create a budget for these programs. And BP's hell about this program all the way down to the cups that you're calling her, but this program so serious to the napkins, because everything counts because you gotta see where that money is going to.

And then as you get bigger, you might have to increase on that budget. And when you go back and ask the same donors and sponsors, they're going like, all right, well, she didn't need more money. So this was successful. You know, this is the things that she says she used because they have to see all that.

Yeah, we know it says I'm incorporate, I definitely see how it works. Like dumb questions are a detail detail, and they want to see your bank is your bank statements. So it's like, you gotta really count for everything all the way down to the pen that they write in their hand with your name on it. You [00:40:00] know what I'm saying?

If they, if that company is sponsoring me, so you just gotta make sure that we are accounting, you know, using everything that we have and that we're really having these. You know, get what they need with the funding that we're receiving. Man, I must ask in  of course, like you said, you're, you, you were established in 2019.

Once you reach that, five-year mark. What is, what are some of your goals  that you have for your nonprofit? So. You know, we are doing  more programs around education, mental health  and just fitness overall, like just to stay up here because we're in a pandemic and a lot of them are still working from home.

A lot of Nike is a virtual, so we have partnered with other nonprofits. Cause that's another way to, to get our name out there.  So we'll be having a lot of events coming up, our support groups when we hit that, five-year mark our goal is to host  a scholarship event where we'll be  be able to assist parents with going back to school.

 We already started talking [00:41:00] to  HBCU  universities that will allow us to come in  and to speak with parents. They, they get  so, so for instance, NCC U has a sensor, a women's.  And that, you know, I can go to give bags and I can speak at night when they have programs and basically figure out ways of how we can get them scholarships, how we can do childcare because North Carolina, central university has childcare.

Okay. But we don't know if they're going to ever do away. It's like from a six to nine, if I have a six to nine class. Right. So I think is right now and say, get when universities on how they can really assist. Well, you know, having them Excel and get back into education if nutrient education with the resources on campus.

Because like you said before, if I didn't have nobody to keep my child, right. How do I suppose to come to school? Right. I work in. Right. As soon as I get my child from school, I need my child somewhere to go see it from six to nine. Now you do have some, some [00:42:00] professors that, well, yeah. Bring your child in class, but okay.

I need to focus. I'm going to be fast on her, a cheese puff. Every time you go on the board. So it's like, you know, talking through my flows and North Carolina syndrome. Actually, I mean a director over the winter center, the women's center. So our goal is to be able to in the next five-year mark has scholarship events where these universities home, where they donate scholarships to parents, they can finish the school, have none with the tuition, their books.

We also want to kick off a college tour for parents. So we go to  yeah, go to different colleges. They have like evening programs even during the day, so they can talk about parents. Like some parents do not know how to. Basketball or not just for them, but just assisting with getting financial aid. Hey man, I hate that page.

Still remember that stuff that was terrible. Yeah. Changed. So you have some parents that have just put anything down and by the time a bill here, they're like, oh my God, the loan interests, we need like all of that to be, explain, you know, to parents, even the parents that have their kids going to. [00:43:00] I, you know, I'm thinking, creating scholarship grants for parents, sending their kids to school.

So they won't be paying out of pocket. My mama had a pay for me. She was a single parent. So it was like, how are you helping my mom? And she's telling you, she don't want to be in debt. What else? Grants programs do you have? You have them, you ain't my mama. But now that I know of them, it's like, let me, let me help these parents out with these grants.

And. Really get into the government level. So I can explain to them, this is what we need. This is why, you know, yeah. These schools are increasing more. Our kids are graduating, but these parents are actually going into debt, putting their kids through school. Weight loss, right? They put in the house up there.

It's just a lot of things that they're doing when there's really funding out there, but nobody is selling them about it. So our goal is to really have these parents get scholarships.  Eventually when we had our TMR, we want to have a resource center, but it can come sooner that where we know we have parents to come in, where we can do before us  before school, after school care, where parents can [00:44:00] take classes  To help them like with Microsoft, where like the sale, Microsoft office thing like that, how to feel your day.

 We have judges to come out and talk to fathers and, you know, have different classes to help  fathers with like court, let them know about shop or help parents find jobs.  We got so many things. We want to do this and it works that discriminative mom blow, but I think it takes to funding. And really just knowing that we are still.

Yeah. And you know, my board, but like Cocker and you got so much, you want to do, but since we're still new with no money, you right. But we got to get there not to make it pain. You know what I really like about what I've heard from you today is. You know, sometimes in a nonprofit world, especially in established nonprofits and stuff, you kind of get locked into following the funds, like knowing that there is funding for something and then developing the program to get those funds.

And it, it seems to me like you are going in a reverse order and you were [00:45:00] seeing where there are problems, what needs to change and make. You know, real ongoing systemic change, and then finding the way to target it and find your funding for those. Is that?

Yeah, because I feel like at the same time, like I can keep covering up. I have to say, Hey, here's the grant for this. Here's a grant for this, but okay. I just, I need to know that the government, right. A lot of stuff, start to go. Right. You're local. I need to be at these meetings and I have some meetings coming up and I'm in the right building at the right time.

But at the same time, like they need to know what the parent community you need. Like, for instance, when I'm walking downtown, People was like, it's ridiculous. How so many homeless people, I just, they just need to get a job. But a lot of them, it's not that they don't have a job. They have a mental health issue.

They're talking out the side of their hands. Like they need help. Where is the resource? Like stop saying that it's not that they don't need no job. It's this. They need, they [00:46:00] need the resource. They need a mental health center. They need somewhere. They can go during the day, someone can assist them. They need medicine.

There's a man that sit downtown Raleigh and screen. Screen because he's in pain. Like where's the assistance where, what this, what are we doing, right? What are you doing? You walk, walking out with these soups and these red bottoms and this, what you're doing with what you're doing is judges every, all of this everyday downtown, what are you doing to change this?

Like, how are you making a difference? Where's the impact that, whereas these organizations that raises money during the pain, and that is what I'm saying. I'm really trying to get in these rooms and advocate advocate. Being an advocate for every parent, not just single all parents, like two parents working at home.

I have two friends that work from home and their child is on our middle floor, but it's hard for all of them. It's hard for everybody. So I just really want everybody to come together and I just really want to make an impact on that because we really still need [00:47:00] help. That's pretty much where it starts.

I love how you include all parents. There's no set. Yeah, and I love your drive to problem solve, like your problem. Amazing. Yeah. When I get this lottery, it's really gonna be on fire. Y'all gonna see me. I believe it

is. I believe that me, you got that. Okay. I mean, it's a Saudi TV, but I need five minutes to talk to you about power. So what people North Carolina or interested in your art? It's pretty much just a North Carolina. We are in North Carolina. When we went to Richmond in December for our annual retreat, we're really trying to get it there for our mental health part.

 Because she saw at a lot of people that need a mental health, but all of her connects aren't Virginia, and most of the water doesn't really have too much. So we're trying to expand to DMV [00:48:00] because the majority of them, our board is at and wonder if Carolina, so we're getting there. We're really trying to.

I'm trying to heat everywhere, where we have to realize we got to take one day at a time. Cause we're at 200 parents. And if we keep promoting, we're probably going to hit three and we just not, we can't carry everybody. And I think for me, like I be so down when I can't sit, assist the parents and my board, we like to raise a, you couldn't help them.

They're not an I D you know what to do shirt there and I'd be so down, but then I'm calling around like, Hey, could somebody please have this way? Or what can you do? Do you know this contact? Because it's just like this just. Right.  But we can't help everybody and we can't take on everything. And that is what I'm also learning in 2022.

We can be responsible for everything with that, as limited to our ability to respond. If, if you, if once, once you can't do anything about it, that's has all of your tests. I mean, if we can help you in any way, you know, boosting any information or [00:49:00] sending out anything, just let us know. Absolutely. You can definitely follow us on all social media  power in community.

 We're on all social media.  You can also send us email and follow-up power and community to Oregon. You can also follow me  to raise the Tyler I'm I'll also share media stuff, Twitter.  I just don't have the time in a day to be out there with Twitter fingers. But other than that, like  yeah, and then of course our website www dot parent community.

So, where can we donate? You can always go to the website to donate.  You can also donate through Facebook and then social media have it now, like on Instagram we can donate, but of course we got paid to donate button, but the donation button is up there. So anything you want to donate to, and just say where you want it to go, we'll make sure it goes into that budget, into that.

But go ahead and donate. Now

we appreciate you making things better. You doing things. I think that's like the key thing that people don't understand about [00:50:00] nonprofit is it, it doesn't mean there's no money. It doesn't mean everybody's a volunteer. You know, cause when you work for a non-profit, if you punch in a clock, you getting paid probably not as much as you would in corporate world, but you know, the big thing is that there is no end goal to get rich.

The end goal is to accomplish a task, which is to make people lives better. And so when you get that money in, you pay for your staff and then any excess you have goes right back into helping more people. So to me, that's a better business. Yeah. And I think for me, like people will shop, but I'm not paying my board right now.

All in. Am I doing it just off the strength of my. Either on the board they'll we have. So like when I speak, I tell people all the time, like if you don't have a team that have the same mission and vision, or don't believe in you, you're not going to succeed. Right. And so I think for me, I have a team, but like what's hard is you don't have to pay us.

You know, we like what you're doing and we're, we're going to help. Or they come from a single family background or they come from a two parent household, but they [00:51:00] know that their parents struggle with this. And so they want to do a better impact in this, but that's pretty much how it. Oh, this cycling. So my cleaner is finish out.

I need to, I need to pay him. Oh, okay. Well we'll go ahead and get ready to wrap up then we want to  we want to thank you so much for being on our show today. We appreciate you having your, all your wealth of knowledge and your experience in this sector.  So our, our folks can hear it, especially like it's nice.

Cause you got Mike to talk and Mike was talking to. And that was cool. Cause he never really get that.

other stuff too, because I feel like, you know, some elements of this non-profit world did, you know, my day job has been around for 30 years, so that's they already have everything worked out. The one. We don't have any idea what we're doing, but we got a great bunch of people that are doing it, and we're just doing it anyway, but we want to do a better.

[00:52:00] Yeah. So definitely I just put my email and my phone number. You know, if you call me, I don't answer, leave me a message. I promise you I'll call you back. Sure. But that's my email.  And you know, we are looking for a melamine and get a prior to board. I went to a, friend's given for Thanksgiving and my five guys while I look, I ain't a parent, but I'll be a part of the board.

I don't have so many brothers. Okay, fine. Cool. Just give us time, you know what I'm saying? Get it to the new year. And we got you because we do want to see more  father figures. I have some friends where their husbands are like, you know, we would love to be a part of the board. You know what I'm saying?

We're not single parents, but we're being an all parents and we need the support groups and we need this fatherhood thing. So if you're always interested to serve the talk to speak, I'm going to plug, I plug you right on him here.

Yeah. So I put my number in there. You got some hit me up. The cleaning man is waiting on me. He know, sat on the hood two times. So let me go here. All right. Thank [00:53:00] you guys so much. Well, we're going to be, we'll sign an out from the Hilltop glove pike.  Man, this is excellent. Calm, excellent  conversation today.

We want everybody to have a blessed and peaceful weekend on this nice Saturday. Make sure you take care of your friends and your loved ones and tell everybody that you appreciate them. Yes, please grow your village. Peace.